Awakening

I haven’t been able to write nothing in a long time. Today I almost like woke up to the summer and remembered that there is so much that I haven’t told you about... 

First I want to tell you about my dad. He is doing great and everything is fine now. He feels like a whole new person, and I love it, the way that he talks, and just how he is.

Me and David are good, now we have our baby (a dog) and we are so happy together. I think that now we are in the place that we both know what we want and we are living like it. I don’t need to explain to him why am mad, if am mad about something. Now he kind of know what he has done wrong and he can apologies for it. I like more of his friends because he gave me the time to get to know them better.

We have been talking about  getting married and having a baby, and we both know where we stand now...

BUT... There is something that I need to tell you about one of David’s friend.. I’m not sure did I tell it before but I think that if I have mentioned it that now I have so much new information about the situation that you don’t mind if I repeat myself..

 David’s friend was married, had been over two years. On the Christmas time, Michael (David’s friend) told David and his wife that he is having affair and that he is in love with somebody else… Michael's wife had kind of known it for a while but still doesn't want to believe it. They tried to work it out, Michael was like “yes I will end it, it doesn't mean anything to me…” pla pla pla… After a while Michael sounded like another person. He just screamed at her and said that everything  was his wife’s fault.

Then she had it. She throws Michael’s stuff out and said that you can have fun with your new women.  Michael fell apart, but I think that it was good for him. Now he can live his life with the new woman, who is btw a little bit cucu if you know what I mean,  and stop worrying about the wife and about getting  caught. 

Bad news...

Yesterday was probably the worst day of my life... 

I had the day of, so I slept long, until my phone rang. I almost didn’t answer it, but then I noticed that it was my mom and I thought that it was a strange time her to call, so it must be something important… So I answered. 

First she talked just like it was a normal ”how are you doing”-call, but then there was a moment when she didn’t say anything. After moments of silence she started to speak again. She said that she had to call an ambulance to my father in the morning; he had some kind of seizure, and now he is in the hospital… 

I didn’t even understand it at the time, I was in shock… I asked my mom what had happened, but I don’t remember a single word that she told me. After the call I just sat on the bed and stared myself trough the mirror, I just sat there and didn’t move.

Moments past and then I noticed that the tears are falling to my hands, but still I didn’t move, I just stared to the mirror. I didn’t feel anything, it was like the whole world stopped spinning.

 

And then I just snapped. I jumped out of the bed and started to put my clothes on almost some kind of robot. When I was ready I started to think what I’m going to do, I had to get the car from David and then go get my mom out of work… I was almost out of the door, when David called me. When David asked me what I was doing, I fell apart again…

Biggest fight we have had...

This comes a little bit late, but there was so much going on. But here it is..

So we were working together, but my sift ended before David’s. We had plans; we were supposed to go get something to eat and then go home and spent some time together. So I went home to get ready, you know how women are… 

I waited and I waited, but no sight of David or even a response to the text. I sent him another one, still nothing…  I was getting really getting angry, and I think in this point I had every right to be. 

It’s coming late and no David, I started to take my fancy clothes off and changing them to something more comfortable.  There was coming some romantic movie so I watched that a little bit but that made me more and more angry! How he could do this to me again? Didn’t he ever think how he made me feel ?

So I put on some nice clothes and put my makeup on and everything, and just when I was ready David sent me a text that somebody of our working building invite him to their own pre-Christmas party, and that he is going to take one class of wine and then he would come home.

I was little bit disappointed, but maybe it was ok… He would come home maybe in an hour. So I waited. Few hours later I was getting mad and I sent David a text just to know where he was and when he was going to come home.

He didn’t answer...

Still no answer... So I thought that I call him and let him know that we really have to talk when he comes home.  So I called, and waited but he didn’t answer. After few minutes I got a text, it was David guess what he said. “We are going to drink just one to sport pub.” Nothing else, what was going through his mind? I was so mad that tears started to fall on my cheek…  If he saw that I had called, why he just didn’t call back?

I just dropped the phone to the couch, and stared to the darkness… I was so mad… Again after an hour he told me that he is coming home, but at that point I really didn’t care. I went to bed, closed the door and just sat there. He did come home when the clock was almost four am. He walked to the room and oh the smell that came out of him… It was terrible! He came to me and was like nothing had happened, he was all like “hi my love, how was your day..” and at the same time tried to kiss me. 

 

  

That was the last thing! It was it, I said to him that he had a very big class of wine… He was like “well there was everything, and I just could not leave…”  I was so angry that I just turned around and went to bed. He mumbled something and after few minutes he came to bed.  He tried to put his arms around me but I didn’t want him to touch me at all at that point. It was like just a few second and he started to snore. 

 I didn’t sleep at all, and when I had to leave to work I were so angry that I felt that my head is going to explode. I really didn’t want to speak to anybody at that point and I felt that everybody that even looked at me was some kind of devil that was laughing at me and saying that this was my fault. 

When I finally was able to speak to somebody I really made a mistake. I talked to my old school time friend that I haven’t seen on many years, but who is now working here. I didn’t even get a change to say anything when she was all like “oh you should have seen David last night, he was so drunk, and we went together to get some drinks after he had left from the sport bar.” 

I couldn’t say anything, I was so surprised and angry that I just stood there and stared at her. She was telling all the “funny” things that they did with David… OH, I was so angry!

When I did get home I thought that I maybe have to do something to calm myself down before I say anything to David.

 

 

When I saw David I couldn’t be quiet anymore, I had to say something.

“ So you had fun last night with Emily ..” He looked at me like hi didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. He just stood there and after a moment he just said that “yeah, we had a good time…”  I could not believe my ears, when did the pre-Christmas party go to that? That there was just Emily and David… 

The whole day I didn’t say anything to him, nothing at all. And when the darkness came, I went to bed. I just laid there and slowly the tears came again…  I thought that David were going to shower and I could wipe my tears before he came to bed, and I did. But I couldn’t stop. The same time that David sat on the bed the tears came back. After a while he noticed that I was crying and then it he realized that I really wasn’t ok with everything. He hugged me and told me that he was sorry and “next time I will answer to my phone..” That wasn’t really the thing that I wanted to hear but at that time I was so tired that I didn’t care.

 After that I fell asleep..